Cassandra Disque | December 21, 2002
, who is the fucking most bombdiggity bomb of all bombs, wrote this in her journal yesterday or two days ago or something (I am a bit behind): I am so pissed that we live in a patriarchal society wherein music made by of and for cool women is marginalized and denied from the entire [...]
Cassandra Disque | December 13, 2002
I logged into my brand new bank account to see if the online banking was working for me yet. I opened the account with $44.99. My account now has a six digit number. $2,767.99. My SSI deposit has gone through, two weeks early. I have not had this much money in my name in two [...]
Cassandra Disque | December 11, 2002
What a difference medication makes to a bi polar kiddie, no? Hallucinations were apparently enough to scare my mother into buying the next round of Lamictal. I do not have health insurance so a month’s supply clocks in at around $300. 75mg in my system and the people in the pictures on my walls stopped [...]
Cassandra Disque | December 10, 2002
I’ve just spent the past hour hallucinating off my rocker. I’m still fucking seeing things. There’s an entire orgy of bald people led by my ex-boyfriend making out in my kitchen at the moment, a little stuffed Gizmo tried to do my mom in with an axe, and a tall man in the shadows is [...]
Cassandra Disque | December 10, 2002
Beating me out of me is pretty much all I have been doing the past few days. Last night I finally paid the toll and collapsed, sleeping for nearly thirteen hours. Before my Sonata days started, this was normal. Since landing my prescription, however, I only sleep about five hours a night. Thirteen was blessed. [...]
Since 1996, my life has been a long journey of visiting one doctor after another. I look more or less fine, but I'm not. My daily pill count is like playing the dozens with a hospice patient. One doctor will say I'm doomed, and send me to another for treatment, but the treating doctor will find nothing within his or her area of practice that can be treated.
My life is better than a comedy, better than a drama. Anyone who has done this knows what I mean when I say that you have to not only know the rules, but also play the part in order to be allowed in the game. Most people find what we go through in the medical merry-go-round to be unbelievable, which is why I call it "The Drag of Gimp."
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