Cassandra Disque | January 25, 2008
One of those crazy thoughts that I have when I’m off my medication happens to be a dangerous one. Dammit, I don’t need my fall back crutches, I’m tired of having four different government agencies inspect my finances and one agency inspect my apartment every year, sometimes several times a year. I’m tired of feeling [...]
Cassandra Disque | January 9, 2008
I’ve been taking my medication like a good girl but I feel like it’s not helping. Despite 300mg of daily Effexor XR and 75mg of daily Topomax, what I really want (think I need) are some benzodiazepines. I need some anxiolytics. I don’t want to call my psychiatrist because that feels like failure; admitting I’m [...]
Since 1996, my life has been a long journey of visiting one doctor after another. I look more or less fine, but I'm not. My daily pill count is like playing the dozens with a hospice patient. One doctor will say I'm doomed, and send me to another for treatment, but the treating doctor will find nothing within his or her area of practice that can be treated.
My life is better than a comedy, better than a drama. Anyone who has done this knows what I mean when I say that you have to not only know the rules, but also play the part in order to be allowed in the game. Most people find what we go through in the medical merry-go-round to be unbelievable, which is why I call it "The Drag of Gimp."
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