Cassandra Disque | February 28, 2009
Been rereading old entries from 2004-2007. I don’t write like I used to. What happened? The meds? Not being in school anymore? Writing less in general? Less available time? Having Matt around all the time influencing how little I actually get to sit down and write uninterrupted, particularly when I used to do my best [...]
Cassandra Disque | February 25, 2009
From my family, a few from Ela, and all the ones from the friend photog we asked to document the day for us. Only three from anyone else who showed up with a camera — boo to everyone else. tinyurl.com/botlove takes you to the flickr set with photos from the courthouse wedding, three from Chris [...]
Cassandra Disque | February 12, 2009
I’m on my way off Trileptal and am going on Abilify — in other words, I give up. The Trileptal isn’t controlling my mood swings at 600mg and my body can’t tolerate the higher dosages. I keep slipping into mania then firing into depression. I don’t want to fuck up and spend all our money [...]
Since 1996, my life has been a long journey of visiting one doctor after another. I look more or less fine, but I'm not. My daily pill count is like playing the dozens with a hospice patient. One doctor will say I'm doomed, and send me to another for treatment, but the treating doctor will find nothing within his or her area of practice that can be treated.
My life is better than a comedy, better than a drama. Anyone who has done this knows what I mean when I say that you have to not only know the rules, but also play the part in order to be allowed in the game. Most people find what we go through in the medical merry-go-round to be unbelievable, which is why I call it "The Drag of Gimp."
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