What if I could be honest?

Cassandra Disque | May 8, 2010

The general consensus in modern psychology is that it’s unhealthy to question — particularly to continually question — your past life. As in, asking “what if,” is only going to drive you crazy. As a disabled person, I can particularly find truth in that. It’s better for me to accept and move forward than to [...]

Dirt under my bourgeois nails

Cassandra Disque | April 25, 2010

Gardening soil under my nails that won’t come out. What was once a sign of the working class is now a sign of the bourgeois. Except I’m basically unemployed, can’t afford a manicure, and every job I have held in the past decade has been in a form of the service industry, give or take. [...]

More grandparent closure

Cassandra Disque | January 2, 2010

I was in Florida to help settle up my grandparents’ estate. We barely made a dent in it; I’m going back in three weeks, having the ex’s daughter meet me there, and then we’re going to box up all the remaining photography and framing equipment and put it in storage near her house. We’re going [...]

Seventeen Years of Crazy

Cassandra Disque | December 22, 2009

Somehow, I managed to come of age thinking I fit a U.S. size nine shoe. In the past year, I’ve learned I actually fit a U.S. size eight on the left foot and size eight and half on the right foot (or is it the other way around?). That’s a literal fact as well as [...]

Don’t squander yourself.

Cassandra Disque | June 1, 2009

“Where you allow your attention to go ultimately says more about you as a human being than anything that you put in your mission statement,” he continues. “It’s an indisputable receipt for your existence. And if you allow that to be squandered by other people who are as bored as you are, it’s gonna say [...]

"The Drag of Gimp"

Since 1996, my life has been a long journey of visiting one doctor after another. I look more or less fine, but I'm not. My daily pill count is like playing the dozens with a hospice patient. One doctor will say I'm doomed, and send me to another for treatment, but the treating doctor will find nothing within his or her area of practice that can be treated.

My life is better than a comedy, better than a drama. Anyone who has done this knows what I mean when I say that you have to not only know the rules, but also play the part in order to be allowed in the game. Most people find what we go through in the medical merry-go-round to be unbelievable, which is why I call it "The Drag of Gimp."


About the author

Cassandra Disque

Extemporaneous flibbertigibbet with bone lumps growing out of my coccyx. I was born in 1981. I was another case of "too much, too young," or at least I wanted to be. Now I'm leaning toward "too little, too late," as my body conks out on me, and I find I haven't done hardly any of the things I wanted. This is supposed to happen to people twice my age, so you might find my perspective on life to be a little unusual -- as in, I find just about everything to be hysterically funny, because there's little use in worrying when it's all going to go kaput.